[Otto's brow furrows for a moment. Does he mind? The truth is, no one else has really seen the totality of his scars. He's been too much on his own since it happened; he treated the injuries alone, he wakes up alone, he spends his nights alone...well. Mostly. It's hard to believe, though, that Norman really wouldn't mind. Sometimes it's still a little hard to believe that he's as comfortable around the actuators as he is - chip or no chip, some days Otto just doesn't feel quite human anymore.
He shrugs, brushing it off. It's not important. Fact of the matter is, he's got a shirt on now.
This is more important. As close together as they've been sticking, the proposal is still a bit of a surprise - but certainly a pleasant one. He can't contain a soft reflexive smile; it's a relief, more than even he would have expected.]
Yes, of course. I'd like that. Those places are pricey.
[...and that isn't the real reason at all. Otto's never been one to hide his feelings, but he still finds himself weighing his words for a moment before he speaks. Perhaps, after everything, he's finally learned a bit of caution.]
And I...can't say I was looking forward to living alone. [His smile goes slanted, a bit pained - but Norman understands, he knows he does.] It's hard enough having a hotel room to myself sometimes. Too quiet.
[He's barely ever lived alone; he married young. So of course it came to him now, when he can barely stand his own company anymore.]
No, neither was I, [ he agrees, finally forcing his hands to flatten atop his thighs. really, norman. ] Too quiet is right. [ though for different reasons. otto's had the actuators' AI in his head for ages now, and before that, he'd had rosie. for norman, he simply doesn't trust the silence, or what his mind may do in it.
and speaking of rosie.. god, the thought that she's gone is almost unbearable. even at their most distant with one another, norman had always known otto and rosie were out there, alive and well and in love. to think that she's gone now..
he hesitates, brow knitting, fingers curling almost white-knuckled atop his lap. ]
I.. don't think you've ever said how-- how this came to be. [ his eyes drift up toward the actuators, then back to the other man's face. ] Of course, if you'd rather not talk about it, don't let me push you, just..
...I haven't, have I? [Otto glances down at where the lower actuators are curled around him on the bed, docile as lapdogs now.] No. No, it's alright. You should know.
[It feels...wrong, in a way, that Norman should still be in the dark about so much that was so important - ugly, shameful, but certainly important. Maybe it's just fair. Otto probably knows more specifics about the Goblin's exploits, too. Horrible as it all is, these are the things that dragged them back together.
He looks down at his hands for a moment. Clasps them together. It's a rare moment without his gloves. There's a shiny pink scar wrapped around the ring finger of his left hand, the only one still left uncovered.
He gathers his words.]
You remember the fusion reactor. [It's not really a question. They may have grown apart over the years, but the seeds of that dream were far older than the distance between them.] I finished it, about two years after...your death. Harry ended up providing most of the funding, actually. I got to know him a bit in that time, though I can't say we were ever close.
[He should tell Norman more about Harry, as little as he really has to say. But he recognizes the impulse as a bit selfish, just an urge to distract himself. Later.]
It's funny - he brought Peter to my lab, the day before the demonstration. The boy was taking one of Curt's classes, wanted to write a paper about my work. I didn't want him there, but he was impressive. He hung around the whole day, Rosie fed him...I told him he needed to apply himself more in school. Ridiculous, in retrospect...
[The actuators aren't quite so still anymore. They start to pick themselves up, clicking as they peer around the room for whatever threat must be making Otto's heart start to race. Otto ignores them. He hasn't got it in him to hold them still right now.]
He was worried about the containment fields then. I was a fool, Norman. I should have listened to him, I was too damn sure of myself. Talking about how I'd change the world. [There's a flash of anger there already. A little more like the caged beast from the dungeon than the even-keeled man he used to be, and he knows it.] The reactor went out of control during the presentation. I must have miscalculated, I still - I still don't even know what it was I got wrong. Peter - Spider-Man - tried to shut it down, but I wouldn't let him. I was too stubborn, I was sure that I could rein it in. I...I didn't even realize Rosie hadn't evacuated with the others until she called my name. I turned around, and the...the windows shattered. The machine was pulling everything in, and she...
[A hand finds its way over his mouth. He can't speak it, but he can still see it even now. That, and a truth he hasn't allowed himself to look at since his recovery:]
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He shrugs, brushing it off. It's not important. Fact of the matter is, he's got a shirt on now.
This is more important. As close together as they've been sticking, the proposal is still a bit of a surprise - but certainly a pleasant one. He can't contain a soft reflexive smile; it's a relief, more than even he would have expected.]
Yes, of course. I'd like that. Those places are pricey.
[...and that isn't the real reason at all. Otto's never been one to hide his feelings, but he still finds himself weighing his words for a moment before he speaks. Perhaps, after everything, he's finally learned a bit of caution.]
And I...can't say I was looking forward to living alone. [His smile goes slanted, a bit pained - but Norman understands, he knows he does.] It's hard enough having a hotel room to myself sometimes. Too quiet.
[He's barely ever lived alone; he married young. So of course it came to him now, when he can barely stand his own company anymore.]
no subject
and speaking of rosie.. god, the thought that she's gone is almost unbearable. even at their most distant with one another, norman had always known otto and rosie were out there, alive and well and in love. to think that she's gone now..
he hesitates, brow knitting, fingers curling almost white-knuckled atop his lap. ]
I.. don't think you've ever said how-- how this came to be. [ his eyes drift up toward the actuators, then back to the other man's face. ] Of course, if you'd rather not talk about it, don't let me push you, just..
no subject
[It feels...wrong, in a way, that Norman should still be in the dark about so much that was so important - ugly, shameful, but certainly important. Maybe it's just fair. Otto probably knows more specifics about the Goblin's exploits, too. Horrible as it all is, these are the things that dragged them back together.
He looks down at his hands for a moment. Clasps them together. It's a rare moment without his gloves. There's a shiny pink scar wrapped around the ring finger of his left hand, the only one still left uncovered.
He gathers his words.]
You remember the fusion reactor. [It's not really a question. They may have grown apart over the years, but the seeds of that dream were far older than the distance between them.] I finished it, about two years after...your death. Harry ended up providing most of the funding, actually. I got to know him a bit in that time, though I can't say we were ever close.
[He should tell Norman more about Harry, as little as he really has to say. But he recognizes the impulse as a bit selfish, just an urge to distract himself. Later.]
It's funny - he brought Peter to my lab, the day before the demonstration. The boy was taking one of Curt's classes, wanted to write a paper about my work. I didn't want him there, but he was impressive. He hung around the whole day, Rosie fed him...I told him he needed to apply himself more in school. Ridiculous, in retrospect...
[The actuators aren't quite so still anymore. They start to pick themselves up, clicking as they peer around the room for whatever threat must be making Otto's heart start to race. Otto ignores them. He hasn't got it in him to hold them still right now.]
He was worried about the containment fields then. I was a fool, Norman. I should have listened to him, I was too damn sure of myself. Talking about how I'd change the world. [There's a flash of anger there already. A little more like the caged beast from the dungeon than the even-keeled man he used to be, and he knows it.] The reactor went out of control during the presentation. I must have miscalculated, I still - I still don't even know what it was I got wrong. Peter - Spider-Man - tried to shut it down, but I wouldn't let him. I was too stubborn, I was sure that I could rein it in. I...I didn't even realize Rosie hadn't evacuated with the others until she called my name. I turned around, and the...the windows shattered. The machine was pulling everything in, and she...
[A hand finds its way over his mouth. He can't speak it, but he can still see it even now. That, and a truth he hasn't allowed himself to look at since his recovery:]
It was my fault. I killed her.